I love to cry at weddings.

I made the wedding invitations for my parents today. 

This is a really big deal! I'm so excited for them!

I like the invitations, also. I'm rather proud! 

The theme is colors and carnations... enough said.

It was nice to do something special for my parents.

Now I don't need to get a gift. lol.

17 Again

1.) That song is amazing. One of my all time favorites. My favorite Will and Grace episode (Bed Bath, and Beyond) ends with that song... SO GOOD! I always cry. It has nothing to do with the movie though.

2.) Zac Effron is hot. Gay and hot. 

3.) That was a very good movie! Funny, yet super inspiring. Which leads me to this post:

Zac Effron plays this epic hero that helps out everyone he knows. He is the perfect friend, and always has the right thing to say. His character is pretty much the best role model ever...

I need to be a better person. I wouldn't consider myself a bad person, but I'm definitely not the person I want to grow up to be. I know I have a lot more ahead of me, but I should work a little more to get there. I want to be that guy that is always helping people out. I want people to come to me for advice. I want to be the nicest guy you've ever met.

The only problem: I'm kind of a dick. Everyone tells me that. IDK what happened this semester, but I've become this bitchy, none-filter, jerk. I don't like that. I usually only act like a diva when I meet a big group of new people... it's my defense... my only reasoning is that I have met a whole new group- the Fraternity. Unfortunately, now Sigma Pi has this awful image of me being someone I'm not.

I'm not sure how to explain this. I just know that I need to take down my front. I need to show people that I'm really a good person. I hate the fact I always have an outer layer. 

My ego is not that big.

I really don't hate people.

I don't really think before I talk.

In a professional setting I never talk.

I'm genuinely nice.

I would do ANYTHING for anyone of my Brothers or Friends.

I'm not that needy.

I'm really laid back when I feel comfortable.

Only a few people know the real me, and I've known them for over 5 years.

So here's to the Summer, and me becoming a better person! Not so much becoming someone new, but pealing back that protective layer of jerkiness. 

Sorry if I've been mean to you this semester, I just hide my insecurities that way. Not cool. Give me another shot? :)

Sophomore Year Reflection

So as I sit here, finished cleaning up my disgusting post-party living room, I was thinking about what a crazy year it has been. I've had a lot of good moments, some bad, some regretful, some meaningful- all in all though, this was a good year.

Academics kicked my ASS! Rough year, I don't even know what my grades will be like this semester. I'm sure I did okay, I just hate getting C's. They're average and irritating. Whatever.

Graphic Design was ridiculous. I remember Freshman Year, the GD Program seemed so mysterious and amazing- so elite. Now that I'm in it, it seems like a shit load of work. I know I'm learning a ton, and I know this is where I belong, but the way everything is designed, it's so easy to lose sight of WHY any of us our in the program. I know I've lost myself as an artist this year, and I'm going to spend the summer fixing that. Aside from that, I did have a really good prof. He is leaving, and I'm going to miss him very much. He was a good teacher, and a good friend. I've never had a teacher mentor the entire class like he did. Chris Fox is a good guy, and whoever is replacing him has some big shoes to fill.

Graphic Design is a big hot scary mess, but I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

Spotlight- it's crazy how much that consumed my life. I loved it. I made the best friends and I couldn't be any luckier. Hinel, Alicia, Katie, Courtney, Stacey- you guys are so important to me. I never open up to people that way I have to you. I'll miss Stacey and Courtney so much. I'm just glad I at least had the two years with them.

Then there's Sigma Pi... I can't express how much the Fraternity has changed me for the best. Those guys are more than just my brothers- they are my friends- some, my best friends. I don't know how I've gotten through life without Q. It's amazing how all your life you can search for something, and when you finally find it, life just seems right. The Iota class is amazing. I am honored to be with such a classy group of future leaders. My Big, Jake, is one of the most respectable persons I have met. I see a very good friendship developing, and I cannot wait. Initiating into Sigma Pi was the best decision of my life... EVER. 

Aside from all that, my personal life has definitely changed. I don't have the same friends as I did Freshman Year. That makes me sad. I thought the Hoobler Family would last forever, but I'm realizing more and more that may not be the case. It's very depressing, but I can't control it. I just hope things get better. 

As far as relationships go- I had a few "interesting" ones this year. If anything, all I went through with that has helped me to grow up. I'm still dealing with some unresolved issues and feelings- but if it's not rough it isn't fun. I'll also get a few good chapters out of it for the book I'll eventually write. Shit got messy, but that's life. Love is a big, complex game. I just hope I can be on the winning side sometime soon.

My family is still okay. We've all changed though. The dynamics aren't the same. It's hard being away so long from them- I feel like I should be around more to keep an eye on things. I was always the mediator for the relatives... and now going home for holidays, I can tell that there are a lot of things unsaid. Once again though, I can't control it. I did reconnect with my Aunt Dawn though. I really needed her a lot this year. I'm glad I have people like her on my team.

Lastly, the biggest thing of the year- my Grandma Schulz passing. Honestly, I still haven't really confronted those feelings yet. It's sad. She was my closest friend, and practically raised me. I owe all of my best qualities to her. She taught me to be a gentleman, and to achieve in everything I do. She was my biggest fan. From now on though, I will do so much more in this life. I know she's looking down on me, and I want to give her every reason to still be proud of the life I'm living. 

What's next? A VERY good, productive Summer. I feel the future is going to be very exciting and wonderful. Junior Year will be here before I know it. Fall. Football. RECRUITMENT! Ireland? I'm looking forward to everything. I'm looking forward to the unexpected.

Lastly, thank you to all my friends. 

You have shaped me, and the life I lead. 

You are all more important than I let on. 

Again, thank you.

Sophomore Year.

Just Touch Me

I was inspired last night to do some work.

This is for my Graphic Design 2 -Digital 

Sketchbook. I'm working on just letting

my creativity break out. I've been under

constrains all semester with logo identity,

it feels freeing to just make some work

on my own terms. I'll post more if they're

worth people viewing... and they will be.

The Good. The Bad. And the Fratty.

Last weekend was amazing. 

Sigma Pi dominated my life with events, and I even got to hang out with some of my favorite sorority girls. It was really one of those weekends that just make me LOVE being a GVSU student. Even more, it was one of those weekends that made me LOVE being Greek. 

I didn't do much studying, but I'll be fine for exams. I just really needed some time with the brothers. 

On a bad note- some other stuff did occur. It's funny, it was such a good weekend, and then one thing can just screw everything up. I really wish it didn't happen. I really wish it was under different context. I really wish that people would respect me more. 

Honestly though- I'm moving on. I always let things like that drag me down and mess me up- but I refuse this time. I should learn not to make the same mistake ALL THE TIME, and maybe someday I will... Overall though, I will remember this weekend as a very positive series of moments for Sigma Pi.

P.S. I went to Kleiner, IT'S TOTALLY WINDOW SEASON!!! I use no doors now :)

Settling.

Assholes.

I'm over them.

NEXT!

Countdown

It's Friday.

I see Britney Spears in 13 days.

That's a sign.

Choices.

Today I finished my BIG project for Geography 235 at 3:30 AM. It's due at 1:00 PM. 

I can't believe it's done! That is such a weight lifted off my shoulders. Now I just need to do the final draft of my SWS Art History II final draft... due Friday at 5 PM. So many deadlines.

Aside from school though, so much is happening in my life. Some good. Some bad. More or less though... I can't define the majority. I feel like I'm at a crossroad with so many things. There's the choices of what I want to do... and what I should do... what people tell me to do... and what I feel is right. Complex.

I know that for one instance, I have some big decisions to make. I just don't know if I can. I don't know what I want yet. Does anyone ever really know what they want though? Or even, what they need?

I feel that all decisions are based on the majority. We do what is right, because everyone tells us that is right... even if in your gut it feels wrong. 

Maybe decisions are pointless. Maybe that's just a concept that people came up with to manage some control over life. Maybe I just just let things happen. Everything happens for reason... so I should just see what comes of it all? 

Maybe this is all just 4 in the morning blurbing. Yes, that is a word now.

Maybe I should sleep.

Sophomore Slump

Can school be done now?

I'm ready for my life to start. As most angsty 20 year olds are.

Switching Over

I used to have a LiveJournal account (technically I still do). I think this is much more grown up. I'll see what fun I can have with Blogger. 

I think this will be epic...