Birds

I wanted to have a bit of fun. I just decided to make these cute guys. A work on repetition and simpleness. I might tweak it later in life, but I feel that this would be a great illustration for a web header, or children's store.

I just want to practice design as art. I'm enjoying illustrative approaches lately, yet keeping my clean lines and use of color and shapes. I only have a few weeks until I create design as corporate pieces. It's nice just to have fun with design, rather than worry if it is properly promoting something, or going to appeal to a client. Sometimes it's nice just to let go of all the rules and make something because you want to.

Communication By Design

Another self-promotion piece.

It's Time to Trust My Instincts

I need to write, but every time I go to blog about my life... I find myself being unable to express my thoughts. I think I might be afraid to think about what is really going on. Not that anything is too drastic, but I'm changing... becoming someone new... and I'm not really sure how to come to terms with that.

I've matured a bit. I also have detached from the less important aspects of entertainment (drama, gossip, etc.). Those things are nice benefits from this California adventure. I'm also okay with being away from boys. That is new.

Okay, I can see this will just be an epic post of rambling. To save myself and anyone who reads, I am just going to be honest. Honesty? That's a new concept. Honesty means to tell someone how you really feel. Honesty means to admit what is really happening. Honesty means to accept life for how it is and how it will be, and to be ready to ride out the wave of reality. Honesty is something I am learning to deal with.

Honestly? I am terrified of coming home. I'm scared that I will drift back into my old self. I like who I've grown into, and I don't want to slip back into a gossiper. I don't want to fall back into the immature drama that surrounded my friends and past relationships. I'm also scared of having to deal with rumors and lies. Those are never fun. The fall is also going to be very stressful. I have to balance friends, school, an internship, Sigma Pi, AIGA, and somehow find time for a real job so that I can pay for everything. It has been such a nice break being out here... just working and making friends. The responsibilities of Grand Valley have escaped me, and I'm not sure I'm ready to dive back in.

I'm also scared to come home and find that things have changed. Not just with my friends... I left some unfinished business back home, and I hope that I can pick up where I left off. I was so happy, and I just really don't want to be disappointed if things are no longer the way they were. Then again, if things aren't meant to be... then I will just have to bite the bullet and move forward with my life. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, and eventually I will reach the finish line.

In the end, I feel like I am coming to a choice. I can either dive myself into my activities and work/responsibilities... and just become distracted with all of that. This is how I kept my thoughts off of reality and adult issues. However, I can try and be a big boy when I get back. I can attempt to start dating again, I can start moving forward with my career, and I can learn to take a step back and enjoy what life brings me.

I pick choice number two. I pick a life of ups and downs. I don't want to have Junior Year be a repeat of my Sophomore Year. I want to experience life, not be distracted by it. Don't get me wrong, I want to stay involved with Sigma Pi/AIGA/Grand Valley... I just need to take the time to enjoy the real world (love, family, friends, etc.).

I rambled. I am sorry. I'm just anxious for the unknown. Then again, as I've acknowledged before: taking the risk is so much better than missing out on life. I need to put myself out there. I need to test the waters. I need to close my eyes, and leap.

A Quick Update.

Have you ever slept on the floor with the person you liked?
Um... about that. Central Michigan?

Are you a jealous person?
Only with the success of others.

Do you hate the last girl, other than family, you had a conversation with?
Not at all!

Are you afraid of losing the last person you talked to?
The last person I left a voicemail with? Yes.

Is anything bothering you?
I hate this job, and I want to go home.

Who is in the room with you?
Berry, my phone.

How do you feel right now?
Like I never can never make the right choice.

How many hours of sleep did you get last night?
7.5

Have you done something bad today?
Not yet.

Are you jealous of someone right now?
Yes, of them and their relationship.

Who can make you feel better in a difficult situation?
My Mom. Lizzz. Jaimie. Or Laura.

Where is the person you miss most right now?
They are both hanging out tonight... in Michigan. They are having one of their epic girls' nights. I'm assuming.

Can you really be "addicted" to someone?
No. I get over things fast... I think.

Does the last person you held hands with mean a lot to you?
Starting to.

What were you like as a child?
Hyperactive.

How would you describe your day in three words?
Lack of meaning.

Look at your nails; do they need to be cut?
I'm good.

How do you think the year will end for you?
Celebrating New Years with a kiss.

Do you like to be cuddled?
At times.

Have you spoken to your mother today?
Tonight!

Do you know anyone who drinks a lot?
Have you met some of my brothers?

What is your current mood?
Anxious.

Has anyone ever called you a bitch?
I answer to no other name.

Have you ever been told that you were going to hell?
Story of my life.

Will this upcoming weekend be a good one?
I get to spend next weekend with my brothers! I miss Sigma Pi more than anything.

Are you open about your feelings or closed off?
I'm usually open to everyone but the person that matters most.

Regret anything?
Not anymore.

What is the most difficult thing you've ever had to overcome?
Being on my own.

Have you ever intentionally made someone jealous?
I'm a pro.

Do you trust all your friends?
Yes. Even when they break it.

True love or one billion dollars?
Money.

Are family get togethers fun or awkward for you?
Awkwardly funny!

Are any of your friends hoping to be famous one day?
I am only friends with famous people.

Can you eat a whole pizza by yourself?
I don't eat.

Was your last kiss drunk or sober?
Sober.

What is the date today?
July 18th

Do you do the dishes for fun sometimes?
Yes!!! Also when I am stressed out or mad.

Better to Take the Risk, than Miss the Chance.

A couple hundred years ago Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. "Never leave that 'til tomorrow, which you can do today."

We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time; heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day. Still, sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrows run until we can't anymore. Until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin meant. That knowing is better than wondering. That waking is better than sleeping. And that even the biggest failure, even the worst most intractable mistake, beats the hell out of not trying.

If Tomorrow Never Comes

Grey's Anatomy