So as I sit here, finished cleaning up my disgusting post-party living room, I was thinking about what a crazy year it has been. I've had a lot of good moments, some bad, some regretful, some meaningful- all in all though, this was a good year.
Academics kicked my ASS! Rough year, I don't even know what my grades will be like this semester. I'm sure I did okay, I just hate getting C's. They're average and irritating. Whatever.
Graphic Design was ridiculous. I remember Freshman Year, the GD Program seemed so mysterious and amazing- so elite. Now that I'm in it, it seems like a shit load of work. I know I'm learning a ton, and I know this is where I belong, but the way everything is designed, it's so easy to lose sight of WHY any of us our in the program. I know I've lost myself as an artist this year, and I'm going to spend the summer fixing that. Aside from that, I did have a really good prof. He is leaving, and I'm going to miss him very much. He was a good teacher, and a good friend. I've never had a teacher mentor the entire class like he did. Chris Fox is a good guy, and whoever is replacing him has some big shoes to fill.
Graphic Design is a big hot scary mess, but I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.
Spotlight- it's crazy how much that consumed my life. I loved it. I made the best friends and I couldn't be any luckier. Hinel, Alicia, Katie, Courtney, Stacey- you guys are so important to me. I never open up to people that way I have to you. I'll miss Stacey and Courtney so much. I'm just glad I at least had the two years with them.
Then there's Sigma Pi... I can't express how much the Fraternity has changed me for the best. Those guys are more than just my brothers- they are my friends- some, my best friends. I don't know how I've gotten through life without Q. It's amazing how all your life you can search for something, and when you finally find it, life just seems right. The Iota class is amazing. I am honored to be with such a classy group of future leaders. My Big, Jake, is one of the most respectable persons I have met. I see a very good friendship developing, and I cannot wait. Initiating into Sigma Pi was the best decision of my life... EVER.
Aside from all that, my personal life has definitely changed. I don't have the same friends as I did Freshman Year. That makes me sad. I thought the Hoobler Family would last forever, but I'm realizing more and more that may not be the case. It's very depressing, but I can't control it. I just hope things get better.
As far as relationships go- I had a few "interesting" ones this year. If anything, all I went through with that has helped me to grow up. I'm still dealing with some unresolved issues and feelings- but if it's not rough it isn't fun. I'll also get a few good chapters out of it for the book I'll eventually write. Shit got messy, but that's life. Love is a big, complex game. I just hope I can be on the winning side sometime soon.
My family is still okay. We've all changed though. The dynamics aren't the same. It's hard being away so long from them- I feel like I should be around more to keep an eye on things. I was always the mediator for the relatives... and now going home for holidays, I can tell that there are a lot of things unsaid. Once again though, I can't control it. I did reconnect with my Aunt Dawn though. I really needed her a lot this year. I'm glad I have people like her on my team.
Lastly, the biggest thing of the year- my Grandma Schulz passing. Honestly, I still haven't really confronted those feelings yet. It's sad. She was my closest friend, and practically raised me. I owe all of my best qualities to her. She taught me to be a gentleman, and to achieve in everything I do. She was my biggest fan. From now on though, I will do so much more in this life. I know she's looking down on me, and I want to give her every reason to still be proud of the life I'm living.
What's next? A VERY good, productive Summer. I feel the future is going to be very exciting and wonderful. Junior Year will be here before I know it. Fall. Football. RECRUITMENT! Ireland? I'm looking forward to everything. I'm looking forward to the unexpected.
Lastly, thank you to all my friends.
You have shaped me, and the life I lead.
You are all more important than I let on.
Again, thank you.
Sophomore Year.
